LeighAnne with an E

For a long time I struggled with the idea of God. It wasn't that I didn't believe, I just had trouble fully committing. I wanted to sit and chat with God first, kinda like an interview. I wanted to shake his had and ask him why he thought he deserved my devotion. My faith. What made him so great that I should trust him. Trust. It's a big word. When it's broken, it's painful. Who wants that kind of pain? What made him so worthy of trust? I needed to touch him before I could trust him. I have been participating in a 30 day on line challenge where there are little questions to get you thinking or actions you can take. It's been fun. And eye opening. One of the questions was "What does love feel like to you." When I hear the word love, my mind automatically goes to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,  it is not easily ...

I find something special  in a love note. Maybe it's the sensitive side of me or that words of affirmation is my love language, but when someone has taken the time to make sure I know that they love me, I jump for joy just a little. My husband, the wonderful man that he is, is not a writer. I tried to force him to write me love notes in a journal a few years ago. That cute little blue journal with the silver 'M' on the front was quickly lost after the initial love note was penned into it.  In fact most of my anniversary or birthday cards end with a simple "me" scratched at the bottom. That one word makes me smile because I know doing just that was completely outside of his comfort zone! Last year my sweet friend signed us up for a local marriage conference. It was not something we would have done on our own, so we headed in with a skeptical mindset. Imagine my excitement when I was looking over the agenda and noticed a time blocked out for 'writing a love not...

Mom Confession: Sometimes (often) I have trouble remembering to be gentle with my kids when I am frustrated. Currently I have an almost 5 year old boy. He is ALL boy. He is wild and full of energy. He is sweet but loves to play rough. I am okay with all of this. The problem I run into is his lack of self control. Boys at this age (and probably older) do and then  think.  Today, I lost my cool with my boy. We were dropping my oldest off at school and he just couldn't find the self control in him to be quiet during chapel. I should have been patient and gentle with him. Training him by modeling the behavior I wanted him to have. Instead, I got frustrated with him. We left chapel early and because I was frustrated I was rough with my other kids as well. I was rough in speech and in body language. On the drive home I was disappointed with my behavior. The reason we had to leave early was because of my poor self control, not my sons. I heard the Lord say to me. 'All you needed ...

In less then a decade of life I have -planned a wedding -become a wife -learned how to actually BE a wife -purchased a home -suffered a miscarriage -grown and delivered FIVE human beings in 5 years -quit my job as a nurse -nursed 5 babies -started homeschooling our oldest ....among other things! I tell you all this not to brag or gloat. That is the last thing that I would want to do. I tell you all this to encourage you! I have always had to work my way through a little bit of the baby blues after every delivery. Normally I feel better at about 6 months postpartum. With baby number 4 it was at about 11 months. This time around it felt different. It was more intense. If I were a season, I would have been winter. And not the fun, 'it's Christmas and the first snow fall' winter, but the 'it's been cold for so long we are over it' winter. I was stuck in winter. My kids, on the other hand, were in spring. They were learning and loving life. They were ha...

The twins turned three this month. THREE! It's hard to believe 3 years ago I was a crying heap of hot mess. I would cry because I felt so amazed and grateful for two beautiful kids (at the same time! I mean really? Two babies in my tummy at the same time! Totally crazy!) And then the next second I was crying because having twin infants was SO hard and all I wanted was 5 straight minutes of sleep. Well, now they are three. They are in Big Kid Beds, Big Kid Undies and their own Big Kid Rooms! Everything about them seems to be big kid! Sweet girl twin shares a room with her 2 sisters. She loves princesses and hates taking naps. Her 'quiet time' is almost never actually quiet. She has the cutest little pout when she doesn't get what she wants. She is a sweet big sister and a devoted little sister. She always wants to help mama with the chores; making dinner, washing windows, cleaning the bathroom or doing the laundry! She loves ridding her bike and our horse. She has ...

Today I will..... ....Remember that my children are not my own . They belong to God. They are HIS and I am borrowing them. I will remember that HE loves them more then I do. Today I will .......R emember t hat being a toddler is hard. I will remember that being a mom of a toddler (or 3!) is hard. Today I will give us both grace as we lean to be a toddler and a grown up with a toddler! Today I will..... .....be both fruitful and productive. Both are valuable. Both are important. But if the day dictates that I must choose- I will chose to be fruitful! Today I will..... ......Not get frustrated with my children for being children. Instead I will remember that God has charged me with training and teaching them. That I model the behavior that they will imitate. I will remember that my children are learning and that I GET to teach them. I will remember what a blessing that is!!   Today I will...... ....Remember that the only effecti...

"And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he hears us" -1 John 5:14 "Don't judge a book by it's cover." That's what I kept thinking after I got off the phone with one of my girlfriends. She shared some devastating news with me. The kind of news that is all to common in our society but devastating none the less. She was the girl that had it all together. I love her dearly but I have also always been *slightly* jealous of her. She has many traits that I often wish I had! To be honest after talking with her and hearing her news, I felt terrible. I totally judged her, and I got it all wrong. I always thought she had it together, that things were perfect for her. But they aren't. And silly me for thinking that way, they aren't for anyone! I can honestly say all these years we have been friends and I have barely prayed for her. I have a few friends who are going though tough spots ...